Hello there everyone and welcome to the first edition of Cultural Exchange, the holoshow where we visit the worlds of sentients across the galaxy and learn all about their lives and ways of living. With my first episode I really wanted to do something special and so I've gained a diplomatic and filming permit and off to Kashyyyk I went!
When I arrived I was pleasantly surprised by the greeting I received. As it turns out Wookiees as a people take visitors and hospitality very seriously as it's a point of Family Honor to them. Wookiees live in communities built among the massive Wroshyr Trees native to their planet. It takes a bit of getting used to being up so high but eventually I got my tree legs as they call them and joined my hosts for a Hrrtayyk Ceremony. There was a lot of pomp and ceremony... well I guess that's obvious. The young wookiee preparing to go out into the Kashyyyk wilds and prove their ability to survive among the natural predators and dangerous plant life native to Kashyyyk. There was a curious food there they served me called Klak. It's a fried food and while it was actually pretty tasty. It was so damn spicy I think it singed my intestines.
Although I didn't really understand what was going on my hosts adorned the young wookiee with satchels, pouches, and other such things he would need to collect what he would need to survive in the wilds. Being the good guest that I am, I of course added my own decorative touch for the young wookiee.
Doesn't he look amazing? Of course he did. Apparently I wasn't supposed to participate but rather observe. Well, it's called Cultural Exchange after all! After the young wookiee headed off into the wilderness my guide, a rather large wookie named Chalmakrah, showed me around the village. He informed me that there would be a Waita Tar Dance this evening. It's a dance that is performed as a celebratory ritual. I guess my visiting this particular village was a great honor to the wookiees there. I have to admit was very flattered. Though I'm not sure how much I was looking forward to seeing wookiee women gyrating about in bikinis. I really hope this isn't going to be like those 'dances' I've gott...err.. witnessed drunken slobs getting on Nar Shaddaa.
We visited my guide's home where he introduced me to his family. His lovely lifemate Falowa, and his children Gragcha, Loma....something.. and the third one I can't even begin to pronounce. There was a lot of growling and grunting though. I'm fairly sure I made a good impression on my hosts. That or I'm now married to Chalmakrah's eldest daughter, growly-growl-ugha-grunt..... or something like that. Hope she shaves. While visiting the Klak from earlier ran right through me. I noted Chalmakrah's reading material on a trip to the refresher. As a man who likes his guns and explosives I have to say that Wookiee Monthly is a fun read. I could have done without the article on the Wookiee issue with dingle berrys.
After visiting Chalmakrah's home we were off to the Waita Tar Dance. I was informed it was in celebration of a recent lifemating. Wow. Taking a mate for life. I was really impressed by that. I can't even get a relationship to last past the post coitus cuddling. Though I suppose 'Hey what's your name again?' isn't the best pillow talk line. It was a pretty interesting sight. There were a lot of torches and yodeling. If you've never heard a wookiee yodel it's a lot like what I would imagine their mating to sound like. Sensual it was not. The females moved in a circle around the males and even I was invited to join in. After the dance we sat around a huge fire and drank Gorimm Wine. Now we were in business! Let me tell you I've drank with the best... and the worst.. around this big Galaxy and that Gorimm Wine was some seriously potent stuff! Much of the night is a blur but I remember a lot of yodeling at one point.
When I woke up there were a few hairy arms draped over me. Well it seems them Wookiees are fond of cuddling too! How sweet of them. I must have slept like a log. Before I knew it Chalmakrah was ushering me out of the village back towards my shuttle. He seemed in a bit of a hurry but I couldn't figure out why. As I boarded my shuttle I turned to say my goodbyes and saw a large group of my friends from the night before rushing out to see me off. I wasn't sure what all the weapons were for though the Wookiees really should change their tradition to shooting their weapons into the air rather than AT someone to say farewell. Well I guess that's why we call it Cultural Exchange!
I'll miss my new wookiee friends. I had planned to visit again soon but Chalmakrah informed me that may be a bad idea. Must be some sort of wookiee only festival or something coming up. Oh well. Someday!
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