Hello everyone and welcome to the first episode of 'Face to Face with Kantherion'. I'm your host, Kantherion Onerious. In this series we'll be meeting some of the members out there of the TOR role play community and getting to know them a bit better. Our first guest comes to us straight from his old stomping grounds of Nar Shaddaa.
Ladies and gentlemen. Kantherion Onerious.
Kantherion:
Thank you for joining us today, Kanth. I know you're a busy man.
Kantherion:
No problem, Kantherion. I'm happy to take a bit of time for my fans out there. Besides, who can say no to Kantherion Onerious?
Kantherion:
Well I can be pretty charming when I need to get my way.
Kantherion:
*laughs* Tell me about it!
Kantherion:
So tell us a bit about yourself.
Kantherion:
Well, what's to say? I was born to a pretty normal set of parents. They run a shipping company out of Corellia. Nothing huge but it paid the bills. When I was old enough I joined up with the Republic Military as a pilot then ended up getting recruited by the SIS.
Kantherion:
The SIS? Oh my. What led to that?
Kantherion:
Well I can't really talk about the exact events, security clearance and all that. But what I can tell you is that it involved my turn coat commanding officer, squadmates, a fallen Jedi, and two thousand pounds of strawberry Jello.
Kantherion:
Jello?
Kantherion:
Jello.
Kantherion:
Interesting. So what happened after you joined the SIS?
Kantherion:
Well I was sent to work undercover among the Imperials when the war broke out.
Kantherion:
Sounds dangerous.
Kantherion:
Yep. It was incredibly dangerous. But that's the sort of guy I am. Taking the risks. Living life on a razor's edge. One man. Two guns. Some rocket launchers. A flamethrower. Grenades. Devastatingly good looks and charm. Against the Imperials.
Kantherion:
So how'd that work out?
Kantherion:
Well I started banging my sith commander.
Kantherion:
Willingly?
Kantherion:
Oh yeah! Great way to pump some information out of her!
Kantherion:
Giggity.
Kantherion:
Giggity indeed.
Kantherion:
So what happened?
Kantherion:
Well she got knocked up. I'm a pretty potent fella after all.
Kantherion:
I'm thinking there's not a happy ending to this.
Kantherion:
Nope. She faked her own death and took on another identity. One that informed to me about the goings on in the Empire for years after that. I had no idea it was actually her. Women.
Kantherion:
I know right?
Kantherion:
She did all that when I rushed back to Coruscant during the Sacking. I had a little cousin that was training at the Temple and well... I'm a family first sort of guy. So when she told me the sith were planning an attack upon the capital I had to go.
Kantherion:
You're speaking of course about Ihlrath Onerious. Leader of the Marran.
Kantherion:
Yeah but he'll always be little Ihly to me.
Kantherion:
I bet he hates that nick name.
Kantherion:
Yeah but I call him it anyways. Yanno.. help him train that emotional control Jedi thing. I multitask a lot.
Kantherion:
So what happened after that?
Kantherion:
Well I was sent in again to keep an eye on the Dartanii Corporation. Something the Republic wanted to know more about since there were some pretty hefty hitters involved. That's where I met the boys.
Kantherion:
Ni'kish and his Mandalorians?
Kantherion:
Yep. The boys. We had some fun together. They were some good mandalorians.
Kantherion:
Now, you actually walked that path for a while right?
Kantherion:
As mandalorian? Yeah for a bit. But I can't really serve a guy that kills a puppet then claims he's not a puppet while keeping all the previous puppet's agenda on board. I mean. If I had found out some asshole was placed by the Sith to manipulate my people into serving the Sith I'd be a little pissed off at the.. yanno.. fucking sith. I wouldn't go on serving them. Makes no sense.
Kantherion:
There was a lot bitching on that end of I remember correctly.
Kantherion:
Yeah a lot of folks take that stuff dead serious. It's kind of like those bouncers at the bar you know. The ones that go home and watch 'Roadhouse' every night and touch themselves?
Kantherion:
Ahh yeah. Or the ones that insist they use the name 'Dalton' at work to protect their identity.
Kantherion:
*laughs* Yeah like they're fuckin' Batman or something.
Kantherion:
So what are you up to these days? You've written several holobooks. Including your autobriographical best selling 'Yeah dude! I'm awesome!' and your series of self help books including 'How NOT to Pick up Chicks' and 'Your Padawan, Hot Sith. And What To Do' for our friends in the Jedi.
Kantherion:
Don't forget my hit holoshow 'Kantherion: Agent Double O Nine and a Half'. I don't star in it but it's inspired by me.
Kantherion:
Based on events in your life?
Kantherion:
What? Oh shit no! But the writers like to use me as inspiration for their main character since he's supposed to be based on me.
Kantherion:
He is? But I thought he actually got the ladies in the show.
Kantherion:
Well I didn't say it was EXACTLY like me.
Kantherion:
Speaking of ladies. You just got married.
Kantherion:
I did! To a wonderful woman named Nebulis. She's a chiss.
Kantherion:
Oooooo. Bluebies.
Kantherion:
Yes. Bluebies indeed.
Kantherion:
So what's next for Kantherion?
Kantherion:
Well I'm going to concentrate on being a good husband. Right now I'm working on my next big project. 'The Big Book of Nyomi'. Which is basically an expose on Jedi Master Nyomi Adastra and her debilitating addiction to Romance Novels, It's one of those 'a little bit of all of us' sort of things. And I want to spend more time with my wife and daughter. Yanno the kid that the sith had?
Kantherion:
Ahh yes. I hear she's doing well. As for Master Adastra's addiction. I know I couldn't put down the Fifty Shades of Blue when it came out.
Kantherion:
I know! Who knew ortolans were so kinky?
Kantherion:
Kanth. Thank you for being here today and sharing some of yourself with our viewers.
Kantherion:
It was a pleasure, Kanth.
Kantherion:
Well that's all we have time for today. Make sure to tune in next time when our guest will be Maximillion!
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